Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
肌肉臭脸 干练美艳 死侍式嘴贱 三人显然都对typecast说big yes 演的都是最擅长的类型角色 成片还行 没有新意 就像是是国家宝藏尖峰时刻十一罗汉夺宝奇兵的一锅乱炖 但毕竟只是周末饭后爆米花 插科打诨外加堆砌各种爽片元素和烧钱外景场面 娱乐性算是不错的 毕竟同样是套路动作电影 同样是角色间没火花 至少比近期快三个小时的某部有意思点 (加朵抄起古代兵器打架那段 我不管 天王老子来了这也是Diana Prince)
［4.0］看一半弃，实在是太老套的剧情，太乏味的段子，唯一可圈可点的大概就是三位主演了。
吴彦姝老师演技太厉害，大半场电影都在演一个得了阿尔茨海默病的老太太。最后对癌症晚期的佩珍来了一句“佩珍，你得提起精神啊”，我眼泪当时就绷不住了。
当纯爽片看还是不戳的，虽然像毛子直升机和加朵打戏等等不尽人意。快2亿的投资不光给了片酬，至少面子上那些金光闪闪的布景也能沾光。强森又拍了一遍丛林奇航。德军bunker这个设定和复古追车算亮点
4.0/合格且高于期望一丢丢，完全不能更传统的好莱坞式神偷外片加家庭快乐爆米花风格片，但还是看得开心啊。虽然已经深谙瑞恩一贯的套路和风格但是依然吃这套，三个人，奇怪的组合，意外的可爱。
偷艺术品的小贱贱，执行任务的巨石强，惊艳派对的戴安娜…三位巨头各自领域最擅长的风格和元素拼贴一番，加上好莱坞特工片框架，拼出了一部新电影。以及，千万、不要、短时间内、看两部、巨石强森、的电影！
《红色通缉令》又名
（一天看两部巨石强森，每部都戳心感觉）；
连《夺宝奇兵》都不玩的剧情怎么会还有人玩。WWE巨星+神奇女侠+死侍以为会有奇妙的化学效应。最后看完就是个寂寞。这片子绝对奈飞砸自己招牌，这三人看来冲钱去的根本没用心演。场面和动作戏都很一般，枉费大家期待
剧作：和爸在天台的台词难道不应该和妈妈直接说吗？舅舅的线删了也行（放线顺序倒是还好，后出先收），父亲（老公）很理想。剧本结构中，貌似有不少重复功能的情节（意思是，取舍）
7.5分！院线级商业大片！给我带来了无比的欢乐！相当不错的诈骗盗窃商业片，节奏紧凑，场面一流，动作戏场面宏大同时颇具笑点，反转一个接一个，令人相当惊喜，小贱贱跟巨石莫名的很有CP感啊，盖尔加朵女神太美了！身材超级棒！！！
only watched it to test my new dolby vision TV; I wouldn't even finish this stupid thing if not for Gal Gadot's breathtaking looks.
工作日的晚上，打发时间看看还可以的爆米花。
挺多逻辑上的bug和不合理的巧合。但还是合格的爽片一部。另，主教好欲
不管是喜剧角度还是盗窃角度都挺不错的。这个死侍小贱人也太逗了。盖尔加朵在游艇上泳装一幕，充分暴露了她也很平的事实。挺好看的，应该能有第二部。
整体来说非常一般的流水账爆米花，好久没看过这种乏味的偷盗类型动作片了，三个演员每个人的角色设定都太太太典型了，故事也是典型的好莱坞流水线剧本。整部片子毫无新意，看的我直打哈欠。另外小贱贱以后接的角色是彻底固定了么，这种贱兮兮话很多的二逼角色，为什么现在他出演的每一部片子都是这种角色风格，实在是太腻了。
电影的表演痕迹过于明显，但是最后妈妈要离开的几个镜头让人深思。妈妈啊，这个十月怀胎辛苦孕育我的伟大的人儿，从有我的那一刻起，似乎就和她密不可分。直到剪断脐带离开她，却仍离不开她的目光，她的牵挂，她的惦念。在我的心里，她虽是妈妈，但更像是我的好友。我们分享心得，阔谈人生，畅聊八卦，甚至还一起发泄。是我最爱的最信任的人。
我的天啊，神奇女侠黑亚当小贱贱组队整这一出？没有剧情，全程插科打诨，平庸乏味，无聊到死，我有想过难看，但没想到那么难看，观感等于（纵横四海+ 印地安琼斯，也就是夺宝奇兵）/100，甚至好几个分镜甚至直接是抄印第安琼斯的。
一盘棋局，两个“主教”，还有很多“卒”，“反转”
3.5吧 其实还挺好看的 除了角色脸谱化之外，然而 盖尔加朵确实是太美了
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